Dealing with Desires at the Dawn of the Day

“You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections.” (2 Cor 6:12)

“and the desires for other things entering in choke the word.” (Mk 4:19)

My God, I am humbled to start my day by coming to You, confessing You are God, that I am not, and considering before You these verses. I am Your child. You care for me. You work for my good, and You love me as no other ever can or will. This knowledge strengthens me for my day. You are not against me. This I know. You are my Father.

Today begins early with my meditating on these verses from You. I acknowledge the warning they give—things within me, and things outside me—that I need be always careful of. My own affections work against me. My own desires for things other than You and Your word end up choking the life You have granted me, and thereby that very life You intend Your word to accomplish in and through me. Dear God, forgive me. Do I still not understand the place and the power of Your word in this fallen world? In my own life? That Your word brings life and light to me, and to others?

Jesus tells me his words are life. He spoke of You. Peter writes Your word not only brings life but nurtures this life into a mature state. Yet, You tell me “I” stand in the way of this life achieving full design and fruitful benefit. You grant me life, Father. What have I done with it? I recall Your son warning about the light within, that if that light is actually darkness, then, indeed, how dark is that darkness that comes across as light but isn’t; that self-deception would so twist things and present its own darkened state as light. Further, that someone would view darkness as light such. God, have mercy on me. Lead me away from myself and every false light-bearer. May I always and only behold Your son as the light of the world and the light of my life. The morning star has arisen in my heart. May I walk in the light of Christ who has come.

It is written of Your Son that in Him was life, and that this unique life was, and is, the light of men (Jn 1:4). Jesus is the living word. I look at, examine and understand His life, as I would read a book. As I do this, I learn from You things hidden from before the creation of the world. He was with You. He knew You best of any other source. He created all, so he knows all things best. He knows me. He knows You. Jesus is the mediator between us, and he ever lives making intercession for me before You. He reveals You to me, thus he is light. I have him as the light of my life, spiritual light. He is light in my soul similar to how the sun is light to the world. Father, thank You for the gift of Your son. He is life from You to me. He is light from You to me. Forgive me of the sin, the darkness, I put against that light. Change my affections and desires to be more heavenly, so that Your word would grow and create fruit for the world to see and consume, thus others may draw life from You. These things I pray.

You permit me to understand, as I come to You through him. He is still the way, still the truth, and he is still the life in relation to You. He is the living word who manifests to us eternal life; that which he shared with You always, and which You have granted me to participate in with You, Your Son, and Spirit. Knowing You, through the participation of this relationship, is eternal life. Thank You, Father.

Also, Father, I have the written word. Through it I too understand who You are, what You are about, and by this record I relate to people; some transformed by Your renewing love and grace; some still in darkness. I learn of and participate in the thread of The Redeemed. Your Spirit’s labor preserving the written record stands to this very day. Thus, Father, when I seem to myself suspended between time and eternity—that position of self-reflection where I labor to see life and all things that I can from the lens of divine revelation and life with You through Christ by the Spirit—I best know the assurance of our relationship, and I best know the reality and presence of what most works against all You have ordained for my good—the presence of self (that remnant and stain of my unholy being, the flesh, stained into all that I am, and ready to live and grow through all I do, unless subdued and denied life; which only comes through my pursuit of life with You through Your Son by the Spirit, and the pursuit of godliness). Thank You, Father.

So, I come to these verses, my God. Your faithful servant the apostle Paul instructs me that my own affections can restrict, narrow my way, or crush me. Why would I ever want that! Rationally, I wouldn’t. But we are not dealing with illumined reason here. Paul speaks as an apostle to the Corinthians, as one who has opened his heart to them with Your revelation and his transformed life, pouring out both to them for their good. And they shut out both! His redeemed and renewed life is a gateway of divine grace and favor displayed for their edification and benefit, yet when he presents this to them their hearts are shut. I picture the image in Revelation 3:20: a hardened heart, shut and locked from the inside, presented with divine grace and favor, yet so committed to self that it shuts out God! And both of these passages are in the context of the church and Your ministry to those classified as saints, or separated ones. Dear God! You have illumined me to see and know that my own affections can shut out Your ministry of life to me, and the consequence, while it may appear as life because “I” retain control, is really narrowing my way and crushing my very soul, because is welds me further and further into myself where Your light grows dimmer and the darkness deeper. Dear God, bring to me Your light and favor. Renew my heart with Your grace, love and truth. Change my life denying passions and affections for heavenly appetites that pursue and honor You. May I hear only the voice of my Shepherd and not follow the voice of any other; especially that of my sinful self. For that voice, above all my God, seems to be the loudest, most clear, most influencing, of all. Forgive me, Father, and please lead me away from living from, by and for my own affections to living from, by and for what is according to Your heart. Thank You.

Also, You warn me from Your word about things outside of me that I might give too much attention to, and that these will end up taking away that life You give me through Your word. My God, I am not Your Son. My heart longs for so much that I either have or don’t have. In and of myself I am not content or satisfied. I am a creature, and I have not life in myself. You and Your Son have life in Yourselves, and this life You have brought me into. Thus, why the torment? It is because I give preference to other things, and these they are which kill-off the life I share with You. Both cannot grow together. How do I ever expect that gift of Your life to flourish and grow in my heart, so that I bear fruit to Your glory, when it is Your word working in and through me that is the source of fruit, and I choose to desire anything but Your word! As Your Son reveals in John 15, there is a danger of thinking I am drawing life from Him when in reality I am not. Father, may there be sufficient fruit in my life—even if that be confession of sin, which is itself of faith—for You to prune me and carefully craft my days, such that the end would be more honor, praise, and glory to You, Your Son, and Spirit, and that I would find rest from desires for other things and know the greater and truer pathway of life from the Living and written word. Father, I am so weak in and of myself. Please grant me the grace and strength to make it through my day. Lord Jesus, may I know your presence and the ministry of the Spirit in all things. May the Living and the written word be as lights to me this and each day. As I draw light and life from these, other unholy desires will disappear. Be with me and guide me through each step of my day. Amen

A Meditation on Prayer

“O that we might only cleave more too God and our Saviour in inward and heartfelt prayer, and devote this opportunity for the purpose of heartily entreating God, that in order to this, he would grant us his grace and Spirit! It is by omitting prayer that we go astray from our hearts and at the same time from God; and the further we go from God, the further do we depart from our peace. O soul, consider therefore what belongs to thy peace! If we loved prayer more and practiced it more, my dear friends, we should become capable of experiencing the peace of the precious love of Jesus in our interior, in our center, and become more closely united to him. Jesus is so near us, the precious Saviour, ought we not therefore to draw near unto him and withdraw our hearts from all created things, from all distraction, from all multiplicity of thoughts concerning outwardly and earthly things, and with all the devotion of our hearts and our affections retire into Jesus in our inmost souls? By the continual drawing near to Jesus in our hearts, by a believing adherence to him, in which consists the true prayer of the heart, we attain too an ever closer union with him and peace becomes great in our souls; yea, it becomes at length an invincible peace which nothing can take away. O what Peace! How every burden and difficulty then falls away! And although we may not attain to so high a degree of union as that which many souls by divine grace attain in this life, yet still, the soul that loves prayer and inward retirement, that abides much with God in the heart, will be conscious of such a secret well-being and such a tranquility as it never can find or possess in the world or created things.

Let us consider what belongs to our peace, in order that we may have peace when we must pass over into an endless eternity.”

(Gerhard Tersteegen, Spiritual Crumbs from the Masters Table, p.18, 1837)

The Spirit and The Bride

'And the Spirit and the bride say, “Come!”’

Lord, work in me that my voice would be found in this chorus!

Revelation 22:17 shows us the Spirit and the bride together as one seeking the Person, the presence, and involvement of the Lord Jesus Christ. This verse placed at the Revelation’s end and at the end of our bibles summarizes the condition of those swept up in God’s redemptive work and history which opens itself to us in Genesis. Lord, if I claim participation in Your salvation, but my heart and lips fail to cry for You, lead me by Your Spirit back into these pages that I might hear You, see You, know You, and come to cherish You beyond all else that I could ever know or desire. Something is in the way. May nothing stand that causes me to not hear the Spirit’s voice and that keeps me from voicing my own cry for You.

The Spirit and the bride know and agree on who Jesus is and what He is about. The Spirit has known this from eternity. The bride knows all this now. The bride understands and is fully convinced of all the Spirit has revealed and brought to life in her. She is complete. She is prepared. She lives the truth that Jesus Christ loves, purifies, and cleanses her in preparation of bringing her to their wedding day and to Himself. The Spirit has brought to earth that heavenly life and nurtured it along the way by evidencing Christ, Who in turn reveals the Father. The church’s relationship to Christ Jesus is her primary thought while in this world, and from it she looks to Him and sees beyond mere human history into life as His story. Additionally, the Spirit and the bride understand, welcome, and work with the means whereby Jesus Christ is set upon to prepare her for that day. Such an understanding would have governed the primitive church that received John’s writing and would have fortified their thinking and faith against pressures from the earthly powers that were against them and sought their destruction, and it would have anchored the early church’s mind and heart on the sovereign Lord of all Who rules over all. Finally, the verse reveals to us the place and role of “desire,” the oft overlooked but foundational and essential element to the inner essence of the Christian life. The Spirit and the bride passionately want to be with the Bridegroom, the Husband, the Head, and they desire all such union entails and where it leads.

Oh Holy Spirit of God, you come before any life or utterance the bride sounds! The Spirit is positioned first. The Spirit’s primary task as revealed in the New Testament is to bring to life and completion the redemptive work of Christ and God the Father, where what has been eternally ordained through and for the Son reaches completion in the Father’s presence. The Spirit’s action is a bringing together the two—One from Heaven to earth and back to Heaven; One from earth to Heaven—and it summarizes the Spirit’s entire ministry. The Spirit, being the life and breath of the bride, moves her collective (and thus every member’s) mind, affections, and will to passionately single out, see, hear, know, long and cry out for, then pursue her Head and Husband above all else. The Spirit brought to her the heavenly life in the beginning, enlightens, empowers and drives the bride toward her Husband, labors to purify her from false lovers, and the Spirit does all this in a way that the bride’s will is not discounted, dismissed, disengaged or overridden, but it is instead influenced in a manner where the brides’ wants and affections so latch on to Christ as the choicest of any object of desire that her will follows hard after those desires and moves passionately steadily toward Christ above all else.

God does not crush and bypass the human will, certainly not that of His Son’s bride. She is no forced marriage! As the Shulamite so longed for her beloved, whose banner over her was love, so does the bride of Christ only long for Him, and only through this experience of longing for Him does she know both herself and Him. To glorify Himself, thus triumphing over all sin and evil, God works through the will by means of His love relation to her. Courting her she gains true understanding of Him: experiencing His goodness and power, His light dispelling darkness; that transformation being undeniably real, His goodness and purity capturing her gaze, as if stealing it from seeing (thus knowing) nothing but darkness and sin to seeing all things, thereby breaking through her as if newly born or created and seeing for the very first time her Creator, Who loving her she loves, Who seeing her she sees, Who wanting her she solely wants. Their eyes meet, and forever she has affections for no other. Dawn has broken to her, and it occurred within her. His look is for Her. He isolates it and gives it to her only. He is faithful to her, and He looks not this way at any other.

This divine gaze changes the one looked upon. Certainly, such a bride will not cry and shout for a return to that darkened womb of the world from which she came! She dare not, or her Husband to be—the Great Shepherd of the sheep—will alter her path toward Him and allow her to feel again that pointed and trying way she only knew before He set His love on her. This He may do, as God, to glorify Himself and purify her affections and desires, through repentance, in preparation of being with Him upon their marriage forever. She is to dwell in the Father’s house, in His presence, and the Son—above all others—knows those preparations required to fit the church for the eternity of that experience.

Recall, my friend, the virgins as they waited for their day. (Matt 25:1-10) Must we not go through our wait and maintain our own want, if He delays a bit longer? Should we not also know the fruit found in delay? Must we not realize the divine work that attends a humble trust and quite patience? Furthermore, would it not be essential and foundational to our Christian maturity to recognize the Lord Jesus’ actual presence during the time of “apparent “delay? What does this notion of delay do with you? Have your affections for the One with whom you will spend eternity grown dim with the world’s dirt and ungodliness? Are we stained? Or, have our desires to be with Christ only grown with fervor and intensity, as we have with increased passion pursued our Head and Husband, the one Whose’ love was set upon us and redeemed us from sin and destruction? Where are you my friend?

God’s love and grace experienced by an individual Christian, and the totality of Christ’s body, enlightened with knowledge and infused with ultimate desire, anchors on the God from which these come, so that the Christian, and the body as one, longs above all else to be with the Source of Life from which these flow. If we have truly tasted of that river of life from above, what fount of apparent and false life could tempt and appear to satisfy us from here below? All we need do is examine our own lives to see the collection of things we have more affection and desire for than the Lord Jesus Christ. What do you see? Could you today participate in the chorus, “Come Lord Jesus! Come!” If not, examine your desires. Recall the role of the Spirit in bringing you that heavenly life, testifying of Christ, and cleansing you of ungodliness. Pursue through faith and repentance what God offers you to prepare you for life with Him.

For 2012

“Everybody wants to be a Christ-worshipper; no one wants to follow Him. However, real worshippers and Christ-lovers also follow. He who loves Christ also loves His holy life’s pattern: His humility, meekness, and patience; His cross, shame, and contempt. And even though in our present weakness we cannot perfectly imitate Christ’s holy, exalted life, we are still to love it and to yearn to imitate it more fully. Then do we dwell in Christ and He in us. But the world now holds it better to gain knowledge about all things than to get understanding about His love, which is better than all knowledge. No one loves Christ who does not follow His holy life. There are many—a majority—who are ashamed of His holy example, of His meekness and lowliness. Now Christians demand an imposing Christ—magnificent, rich, conformed to the world! No one wants to imitate a poor, meek, despised, lowly Christ.”

“O my heavenly Physician! I bring Thee a dead soul; revive it! I bring Thee a sick soul; cure it! I bring Thee a heart empty of all basic virtue; fill it with Thy Spirit, with Thy love, with Thy humility, and with Thy wonderful patience! Amen”

“Ordinarily the soul rises to perfection [completion, or that end to which it was designed or made] by passing through three states. First of all, it gets free from sin by penance and mortification; then it forms inner virtues by prayer and imitation of Christ; and lastly, it advances in the love of God until it reaches habitual union with him. It is for us to enter that path of perfection and to traverse its stages more or less quickly.”

(John Arndt, 1555 – 1621)

My friend, these words and ideas or concepts, even truths, expressed by John Arndt require me to evaluate my own heart and my very life to see and acknowledge who Jesus Christ is to me and ask what of my love for Him? Has it been some time since you asked God to show you what it means to be a Christian? If you ask, also petition Him and trust Him to lead you in the way. Rely on the Author of that life, not on self.

An “ordinary” Christian you and I dare not be. This world loves ordinary Christians. They lack devotion to the Lord of the universe, therefore, they lack power. These are blind to sin in their lives and to the world’s sin; thus, one could conclude, they are truly blind to God. They do not see His holiness and love seeing them, so they do not themselves see with holiness and love. They manifest nothing of the life God’s Spirit, but only manifest godlessness. Godlessness need not be just those gross sins or unrighteous displays. It can be understood as a framework of life which stems from self, serves self, instead of that which originates from a hearty trust and confidence in God; one sourced by that which is tied to heaven and feeds the new life Christians know is most true, and which lives in and through them, and that can only be attributed to as divine.

The Christian does not lay claim to this treasure, but humbly permits its dictates and impressions to fashion one’s life in place of the self’s natural and earthly inclinations, thereby preferring what is holy over that which is not of God. Ongoing self-reflection in God’s presence, confession, faith and repentance grounded in true forgiveness are living necessities for such a Christian.

And what of loves work in my heart? Does not Christ make much to do about the love of God, his love for the Father, and his desire that those who have been reconciled to the Father through him would be remade and transformed by the unfolding and experiential ministry of divine love poured out into the heart of people? Dear God, where am I to be found in this prayer of Your Son recorded for my benefit and Your glory in John 17? Can I testify that I do see the fruit of His prayer and Your answer to his request manifest in my life? Dear God, if I cannot attest to this reality of love, do not let me rest till we have met in that ministry of Your Word, Your Spirit and my soul and the darkness of my mind and heart are burned away by the brightness of Your glorious love and truth! The brand of my fallen heart runs deep! Would you my Father run the brand of Your love even deeper! In the pain from that pressing into my flesh I’ll feel, Your Son will be revealed, and I will understand and then live more for the pleasure of Your holy will as did he commit even more so to You as the pain pressed deeper into His holy flesh. God, to pray such things and know the true condition of my own heart! Faith moves me to pray such, because I know all is guided by Your love.

As I enter the year 2012, my framework for this year’s meditations and reflections is the reality described by John 1:4: “In Him was life, and this life was the light of men.” Do you know, my friend, what this verse reveals? I pray that over the next twelve months, I will understand and live these truths. I pray your soul will be watered. We are all imperfect. This we know, thus we forgive freely and we encourage along the way. We anchor in Him, not in ourselves.

God’s Best,

Carl

A Meditation To Frame The Heart For Its Day

“In spiritual trials, one is to consider that they are brought about by God, that Christ our head underwent them as well, that many saints experienced them, and that impatience in such trials will not be held against those who under go them. They are to protect us against spiritual pride and help us to learn patience and hope. Bear sorrow until God takes it away. Do not listen to the judgment of the world and the Devil, but to God’s word. Think how God has helped the saints. If you suffer with Christ you will also share his glory.”

“Those who are undergoing trials should remember that these come from God, that the Devil has no power over us and that they lead not to corruption but to holiness. Such trials help to teach us to learn the power of sin, to value the redemption of Christ, to become like Christ, to learn, to taste the consolation of the divine Word, to learn to practice faith and patience, to be more strongly comforted, to be more joyous in heaven. Be satisfied that temptations are the will of God. They are the marks of the grace of God by which he makes us in body and soul like to his Son. Victory will certainly follow great struggles of soul. The evils that man must suffer against his will are not accounted to him by God. God has never left the soul alone in trial. Great trials are the special graces of God and those who undergo them are spiritual martyrs. Therefore be patient, for a light will shine fourth in the darkness.”

(John Arndt, True Christianity, Book Two)


“Joshua drew not his hand back, wherewith he stretched out the spear, until he utterly destroyed all the inhabitants of Ai. Joshua 8. 26. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested that he might destroy the works of the devil. 1 John 3. 8. A willing subjection to any one sin is not consistent with the grace of God, and true saving faith, Romans 6. 14; for though wicked inhabitants will abide in the heart, and sometimes prevail over the believer, they must not reign there, nor should be suffered to stir without resistance: since we may be utterly ruined by the dominion of a single sin, that is, by a single subjection to it, as by the dominion of a thousand, just as a bird is caught by a single snare; and though you are actually converted, and have gained the dominion over your sins, yet you must not draw back your hand, and lay the spear and sword of the Spirit aside. There is no truce in this war, nor any rest found, but in fighting; for if you beat not your enemies, they beat you. Therefore, the Christian soldier's watch word is, Fight on, looking to Jesus. Satan left Christ only for a time; much more will he renew his assaults upon us again and again; nay, if a man is not watchful, but presumptuous, "he takes to him seven other spirits more wicked than himself." But if the conflict lasteth long, remember that is also the case of others; and even the ancient fathers have gone under it till they were gray; at last the victory will be the more sweet and glorious. Only, above all things, take the shield of faith, for faith alone triumphs; by which we are in covenant with Christ, and he makes one cause with us.”

(Carl H. von Bogatzky, Golden Treasury, November 29)

Lord, I read such things as these to which my mind and heart without delay agree. I thank you that I am in a line of faith to receive such godly insight and counsel. I need these words, and your timing to give them to me is perfect. May I honor you this day by yielding my life to your Spirit and word, and may I move in the direction of godly faith that would manifest the type of commitment in life that looks to you and trusts you, and that looks not to the world or to flesh, thinking that they offer me life; for that they do not do, although it may look and feel like life: they yield death. You, O’Lord, give me true life and you nurture and guide it, at times through the voices of your saints, like these ones above, who I’ve read and I agree with their words. I long for the leading of faith by which I would know the reality of which they describe. Far be it from me, my Lord, that I would see myself exempt from such divine work to conform me to the image of your son, in whom alone truly I have life. I look to you and trust you my God, not only with the end of my salvation but the means. May that never diminish.

Reminders On Faith

“Against the weakness of faith, the following are useful: Faith is God’s work; Christ’s love for us is perfect even if our faith is imperfect; God looks graciously on weak faith; he is most concerned about those weak in faith; he who eagerly wishes to believe also believes; no desire will be lost; it is better to be weak in faith than to be proud of strong faith; even weak faith grasps Christ and his goodness; faith is not at all times strong; concern about weak faith is true faith; Christ is with us and in us when we think on him; Christ our high priest prays for us; God’s mercy is unspeakably great; God began his work and will bring it to fulfillment; God has given many means to strengthen faith; our faith is grounded in the eternal election of God.”

(John Arndt, True Christianity, Book Two)

Reflections from John Arndt on the Christian Life

“The following things should help us to be patient: In suffering God comes to us, we deserve far grater punishment, God does not mistreat us, God has great patience with us, Christ and all the saints were patient, God promises great goodness to us, His promises are given in truth, suffering gives honor to God and it helps us, Christ made suffering a sanctifying thing, and eternal glory follows upon suffering.”

“Where there is no love and faithfulness, corruption and death follow. For pious and troubled people, faith and hope look to God’s power and mercy and bring about patience. They know that God hears man’s prayer, that God consoles them in wrong, that God gives his light of grace in darkness, that the suffering of evil men is God’s wrath, that righteousness and truth finally come to light, that shame will come upon all those who mock God.”

“Hope is patient faith that preserves to the end. God himself is its foundation and rest. He who depends upon temporal things must always stand in dread. Hope is tested by trials; by trials, God breaks down false hope. Like faith and love, hope depends upon God alone. It is awakened by considering time and eternity. Souls that live in hope are the most beloved children of God. They learn to trust upon God alone.”

(John Arndt, True Christianity, Book Two)